ive been experimenting with rhyme schemes

so i went for the first snare and inner/and for the second a multi

and switching the rhyme twice every bar

once ever i was shook,she had gold plated style
she left me star struck,with her sophisticated smile
got feelings in my heart,i thought id never feel
so i knew from the start,they were forever real
her voice hit more hyms,than a gospil school
her personality was firery,like a lite fossil fuel
she wanted to test me,but i kept rising above,
kill for my queen bee,with eyes of love
we were only fifthteen,but she gave me an ole date
and it was a dream,discovering my soul mate
my girls name is clare,and weve got threw tears
were not a perfect pair,but we are a few years
she thought me alot about been a better person
using ink in a dot in a letter without cursing
were both going to spain,for future sun brakes
cos were sick of rain,and killarnys fun lake

this letter is a message,to prove my worth
youve made my world better,youve moved my earth
i love your company and when we walk about
i love how you cant talk only shout
and we so comfortable we can sit in silence
so our mind dont dweel in fits of violence
but you can also be a pain in the @ss
but you still get me high like a bad strain of grass
but its hardly never to ocean the truth
so dont plan a lever motion with your booth
i be higher with trees ,than a yellow giraffe
looking at our memorys, with a mellow laugh
i know you very well and youd never greet a fling
my girl wont cheat, just aint her thing
everyday brings something new,and days are flying fast
so i stay true babe,to our joyous past
their the same rhyme scheme

the second rhyme scheme flows better

once ever i was shook,she had gold plated style
she left me star struck,with her sophisticated smile
got feelings in my heart,i thought id never feel
so i knew from the start,they were forever real
her voice hit more hyms,than a gospil school
her personality was firery,like a lite fossil fuel
she wanted to test me,but i kept rising above,
kill for my queen bee,with eyes of love
we were only fifthteen,but she gave me an ole date
and it was a dream,discovering my soul mate
my girls name is clare,and weve got threw tears
were not a perfect pair,but we are a few years
she thought me alot about been a better person
using ink in a dot in a letter without cursing
were both going to spain,for future sun brakes
cos were sick of rain,and killarnys fun lake

this letter is a message,to prove my worth
youve made my world better,youve moved my earth
i love your company and when we walk about
i love how you cant talk only shout
and we so comfortable we can sit in silence
so our mind dont dweel in fits of violence
but you can also be a pain in the @ss
but you still get me high like a bad strain of grass
but its hardly never to ocean the truth
so dont plan a lever motion with your booth
i be higher with trees ,than a yellow giraffe
looking at our memorys, with a mellow laugh
i know you very well and youd never greet a fling
my girl wont cheat, just aint her thing
everyday brings something new,and days are flying fast
so i stay true babe,to our joyous past

Im diggin the 2nd verse more.

once ever i was shook,she had gold plated style
she left me star struck,with her sophisticated smile
got feelings in my heart,i thought id never feel
so i knew from the start,they were forever real
her voice hit more hyms,than a gospil school
her personality was firery,like a lite fossil fuel
she wanted to test me,but i kept rising above,
kill for my queen bee,with eyes of love
we were only fifthteen,but she gave me an ole date
and it was a dream,discovering my soul mate
my girls name is clare,and weve got threw tears
were not a perfect pair,but we are a few years
she thought me alot about been a better person
using ink in a dot in a letter without cursing
were both going to spain,for future sun brakes
cos were sick of rain,and killarnys fun lake

this letter is a message,to prove my worth
youve made my world better,youve moved my earth
i love your company and when we walk about
i love how you cant talk only shout
and we so comfortable we can sit in silence
so our mind dont dweel in fits of violence
but you can also be a pain in the @ss
but you still get me high like a bad strain of grass
but its hardly never to ocean the truth
so dont plan a lever motion with your booth
i be higher with trees ,than a yellow giraffe
looking at our memorys, with a mellow laugh
i know you very well and youd never greet a fling
my girl wont cheat, just aint her thing
everyday brings something new,and days are flying fast
so i stay true babe,to our joyous past

7/5 out of 10

once ever i was shook,she had gold plated style
she left me star struck,with her sophisticated smile
got feelings in my heart,i thought id never feel
so i knew from the start,they were forever real
her voice hit more hyms,than a gospil school
her personality was firery,like a lite fossil fuel
she wanted to test me,but i kept rising above,
kill for my queen bee,with eyes of love
we were only fifthteen,but she gave me an ole date
and it was a dream,discovering my soul mate
my girls name is clare,and weve got threw tears
were not a perfect pair,but we are a few years
she thought me alot about been a better person
using ink in a dot in a letter without cursing
were both going to spain,for future sun brakes
cos were sick of rain,and killarnys fun lake

this letter is a message,to prove my worth
youve made my world better,youve moved my earth
i love your company and when we walk about
i love how you cant talk only shout
and we so comfortable we can sit in silence
so our mind dont dweel in fits of violence
but you can also be a pain in the @ss
but you still get me high like a bad strain of grass
but its hardly never to ocean the truth
so dont plan a lever motion with your booth
i be higher with trees ,than a yellow giraffe
looking at our memorys, with a mellow laugh
i know you very well and youd never greet a fling
my girl wont cheat, just aint her thing
everyday brings something new,and days are flying fast
so i stay true babe,to our joyous past

Rap is something you do while Hip Hop is our culture. This song is classified as Hip Hop. We live it. It’s more along the lines of mid school LL Cool J and Nas. I personally like it because it doesn’t sound too soft or weak. I don’t like the Chris Brown crying all the time type of guy/song. This song sounds strong, truthful, it paints a picture and the person you wrote it about will be happy.

A word of advice. Never put your lyrics online like this. Especially if you plan on pursuing a career in music. I wouldn’t be surprised if we heard a line or two from someone in about 10 years. When you hear your music on the radio and realize you are not being paid for you will understand what I’m talking about. African Americans went thru this years ago don’t repeat that part of the past.

once ever i was shook,she had gold plated style
she left me star struck,with her sophisticated smile
got feelings in my heart,i thought id never feel
so i knew from the start,they were forever real
her voice hit more hyms,than a gospil school
her personality was firery,like a lite fossil fuel
she wanted to test me,but i kept rising above,
kill for my queen bee,with eyes of love
we were only fifthteen,but she gave me an ole date
and it was a dream,discovering my soul mate
my girls name is clare,and weve got threw tears
were not a perfect pair,but we are a few years
she thought me alot about been a better person
using ink in a dot in a letter without cursing
were both going to spain,for future sun brakes
cos were sick of rain,and killarnys fun lake

this letter is a message,to prove my worth
youve made my world better,youve moved my earth
i love your company and when we walk about
i love how you cant talk only shout
and we so comfortable we can sit in silence
so our mind dont dweel in fits of violence
but you can also be a pain in the @ss
but you still get me high like a bad strain of grass
but its hardly never to ocean the truth
so dont plan a lever motion with your booth
i be higher with trees ,than a yellow giraffe
looking at our memorys, with a mellow laugh
i know you very well and youd never greet a fling
my girl wont cheat, just aint her thing
everyday brings something new,and days are flying fast
so i stay true babe,to our joyous past

really good acually..
feels like i can relate to this
9/10

once ever i was shook,she had gold plated style
she left me star struck,with her sophisticated smile
got feelings in my heart,i thought id never feel
so i knew from the start,they were forever real
her voice hit more hyms,than a gospil school
her personality was firery,like a lite fossil fuel
she wanted to test me,but i kept rising above,
kill for my queen bee,with eyes of love
we were only fifthteen,but she gave me an ole date
and it was a dream,discovering my soul mate
my girls name is clare,and weve got threw tears
were not a perfect pair,but we are a few years
she thought me alot about been a better person
using ink in a dot in a letter without cursing
were both going to spain,for future sun brakes
cos were sick of rain,and killarnys fun lake

this letter is a message,to prove my worth
youve made my world better,youve moved my earth
i love your company and when we walk about
i love how you cant talk only shout
and we so comfortable we can sit in silence
so our mind dont dweel in fits of violence
but you can also be a pain in the @ss
but you still get me high like a bad strain of grass
but its hardly never to ocean the truth
so dont plan a lever motion with your booth
i be higher with trees ,than a yellow giraffe
looking at our memorys, with a mellow laugh
i know you very well and youd never greet a fling
my girl wont cheat, just aint her thing
everyday brings something new,and days are flying fast
so i stay true babe,to our joyous past
cruddy buddy

is that reward or reword

i can rewad all of it so muc

one in rhyme and multi in every sentence

once ever i was shook,she had gold plated style
she left me star struck,with her sophisticated smile
got feelings in my heart,i thought id never feel
so i knew from the start,they were forever real
her voice hit more hyms,than a gospil school
her personality was firery,like a lite fossil fuel
she wanted to test me,but i kept rising above,
kill for my queen bee,with eyes of love
we were only fifthteen,but she gave me an ole date
and it was a dream,discovering my soul mate
my girls name is clare,and weve got threw tears
were not a perfect pair,but we are a few years
she thought me alot about been a better person
using ink in a dot in a letter without cursing
were both going to spain,for future sun brakes
cos were sick of rain,and killarnys fun lake

this letter is a message,to prove my worth
youve made my world better,youve moved my earth
i love your company and when we walk about
i love how you cant talk only shout
and we so comfortable we can sit in silence
so our mind dont dweel in fits of violence
but you can also be a pain in the @ss
but you still get me high like a bad strain of grass
but its hardly never to ocean the truth
so dont plan a lever motion with your booth
i be higher with trees ,than a yellow giraffe
looking at our memorys, with a mellow laugh
i know you very well and youd never greet a fling
my girl wont cheat, just aint her thing
everyday brings something new,and days are flying fast
so i stay true babe,to our joyous past

the royal @ss and grass….
sun brakes and fun lakes
XD
dude i smiled because its funny and i can relate to most of this
10/10

alright so me and this guy had a thing back in september. we almost went out but then he just stopped talking to me because he said he lost interested. I texted him by accident in october and we just started talking again. after that, we’ve been talking a lot. texting all most every day, etc. I’m a sophomore and he’s a senior, by the way. we’re both into theater. his class has been working on a class play the past month and since I do backstage stuff and so does he, we’ve been seeing eachother at rehearsals. every rehearsal he’s texted me and ended up asking me to come up and see him in the light booth (he’s light manager for the play. i do props so I’m usually backstage). I denied him every time saying I didn’t want to get in trouble. on thursday, that was the opening night of the show. we hung out for about an hour before the show but didn’t talk a whole lot. he texted me to see if i was going to Dennys (a restaurant) after with the cast & crew but I said I wasn’t. he offered to give me a ride and seemed upset that I couldn’t go. on friday, I was walking around on the stage before the show getting ready and setting up and he played a song over the speakers of the theater. it was a song that we used to sing together when we had a "thing". it caught my attention and I looked up at him in the booth and he beckoned for me to come up there with him. so, this time I did. we hung out up there for about an hour and when I tried to leave he was like "nooo!" but eventually I did. after that I texted him and said "miss me yet?" just kidding and he said "of course I do babe.. you should come back :)" I came back during intermission and we hung out some more. we flirted a lot and we were acting like we used to. when I told him I had to leave again, he held onto my arm and pulled me into a hug and wouldn’t let me go. I agreed to stay for a bit longer and he seemed really happy. when I left, he texted me and said "come backkkkk ):" I saw him after the show and he offered me a ride home but I told him I already had one. yesterday, I texted him and we ended up talking all day and eventually got on the subject of when we liked eachother. he didn’t seem to think it was awkward at all, and we were flirting a bunch.

now, here’s my question. is it silly to think he might like me again? he might just be being friendly, and I don’t want to get the wrong idea, but doesn’t it seem like he’s at least a little bit interested? should I give up because of how we didn’t work out before? or do you think I should give it another shot and keep trying? oh another detail I should add is that he has texted me first a few times in the past week, but didn’t text me today or yesterday. I didn’t want to text him and look clingy, so why do you think he hasn’t texted me? wouldn’t he have if he wanted to talk to me?

he might interested in u, but he may have other thoughts, we cant know what in his head. Just wait and see what he going to do next, boys are not that patient in relationship, if he like u, he would ask u out in the near future.

alright so me and this guy had a thing back in september. we almost went out but then he just stopped talking to me because he said he lost interested. I texted him by accident in october and we just started talking again. after that, we’ve been talking a lot. texting all most every day, etc. I’m a sophomore and he’s a senior, by the way. we’re both into theater. his class has been working on a class play the past month and since I do backstage stuff and so does he, we’ve been seeing eachother at rehearsals. every rehearsal he’s texted me and ended up asking me to come up and see him in the light booth (he’s light manager for the play. i do props so I’m usually backstage). I denied him every time saying I didn’t want to get in trouble. on thursday, that was the opening night of the show. we hung out for about an hour before the show but didn’t talk a whole lot. he texted me to see if i was going to Dennys (a restaurant) after with the cast & crew but I said I wasn’t. he offered to give me a ride and seemed upset that I couldn’t go. on friday, I was walking around on the stage before the show getting ready and setting up and he played a song over the speakers of the theater. it was a song that we used to sing together when we had a "thing". it caught my attention and I looked up at him in the booth and he beckoned for me to come up there with him. so, this time I did. we hung out up there for about an hour and when I tried to leave he was like "nooo!" but eventually I did. after that I texted him and said "miss me yet?" just kidding and he said "of course I do babe.. you should come back :)" I came back during intermission and we hung out some more. we flirted a lot and we were acting like we used to. when I told him I had to leave again, he held onto my arm and pulled me into a hug and wouldn’t let me go. I agreed to stay for a bit longer and he seemed really happy. when I left, he texted me and said "come backkkkk ):" I saw him after the show and he offered me a ride home but I told him I already had one. yesterday, I texted him and we ended up talking all day and eventually got on the subject of when we liked eachother. he didn’t seem to think it was awkward at all, and we were flirting a bunch.

now, here’s my question. is it silly to think he might like me again? he might just be being friendly, and I don’t want to get the wrong idea, but doesn’t it seem like he’s at least a little bit interested? should I give up because of how we didn’t work out before? or do you think I should give it another shot and keep trying? oh another detail I should add is that he has texted me first a few times in the past week, but didn’t text me today or yesterday. I didn’t want to text him and look clingy, so why do you think he hasn’t texted me? wouldn’t he have if he wanted to talk to me?

Don’t give him the time of day. He wants you for any obvious reason but doesn’t want to be a attach you know what i’m saying he wants that "bonbon chacha bon wong" Just listen to your gut you’ll be just fine, it got you this far you know.

alright so me and this guy had a thing back in september. we almost went out but then he just stopped talking to me because he said he lost interested. I texted him by accident in october and we just started talking again. after that, we’ve been talking a lot. texting all most every day, etc. I’m a sophomore and he’s a senior, by the way. we’re both into theater. his class has been working on a class play the past month and since I do backstage stuff and so does he, we’ve been seeing eachother at rehearsals. every rehearsal he’s texted me and ended up asking me to come up and see him in the light booth (he’s light manager for the play. i do props so I’m usually backstage). I denied him every time saying I didn’t want to get in trouble. on thursday, that was the opening night of the show. we hung out for about an hour before the show but didn’t talk a whole lot. he texted me to see if i was going to Dennys (a restaurant) after with the cast & crew but I said I wasn’t. he offered to give me a ride and seemed upset that I couldn’t go. on friday, I was walking around on the stage before the show getting ready and setting up and he played a song over the speakers of the theater. it was a song that we used to sing together when we had a "thing". it caught my attention and I looked up at him in the booth and he beckoned for me to come up there with him. so, this time I did. we hung out up there for about an hour and when I tried to leave he was like "nooo!" but eventually I did. after that I texted him and said "miss me yet?" just kidding and he said "of course I do babe.. you should come back :)" I came back during intermission and we hung out some more. we flirted a lot and we were acting like we used to. when I told him I had to leave again, he held onto my arm and pulled me into a hug and wouldn’t let me go. I agreed to stay for a bit longer and he seemed really happy. when I left, he texted me and said "come backkkkk ):" I saw him after the show and he offered me a ride home but I told him I already had one. yesterday, I texted him and we ended up talking all day and eventually got on the subject of when we liked eachother. he didn’t seem to think it was awkward at all, and we were flirting a bunch.

now, here’s my question. is it silly to think he might like me again? he might just be being friendly, and I don’t want to get the wrong idea, but doesn’t it seem like he’s at least a little bit interested? should I give up because of how we didn’t work out before? or do you think I should give it another shot and keep trying?

Give it another shot, he’s interested. but he seems a bit clingy and insecure, thats all.